Conan O’Brien Fires Scathing Shot at Epstein Class in 2026 Oscars Monologue: “At Least We Arrest Our Pedophiles”
Conan O’Brien kicked off the 2026 Oscars with a monologue that imagined him winning an Oscar heralded by God and Josh Groban alike and saw him get serious. But the part that probably really jumped out to folks at home was the way that O’Brien took a seemingly innocuous stat — the fact that this is the first time since 2012 that not a single British actor has been nominated for Best Actor or Best Actress — to lob a jaw-dropping slap at the United States amid the fallout of the Epstein files.
“It’s the first time since 2012 that there are no British actors nominated for Best Actor or Best Actress,” O’Brien said. “Yeah, the British spokesperson said, ‘Well, at least we arrest our pedophiles. We got that going for us.’”
O’Brien was of course referring to the fact that Andrew Mountbatten-Windsor, formerly styled as Prince Andrew, the Duke of York, had in fact been arrested by British authorities for his connections to Epstein in the last month.
The rest of O’Brien’s monologue was far less controversial. He made a keyboard joke about the success of Best Picture nominee F1noting that the sequel will be called “Caps Lock” and coerced Leonardo DiCaprio into attempting to make an impromptu meme, labeled, “TFW you didn’t agree with this.”
However, for a brief moment, O’Brien was uncharacteristically serious. Towards the end of his monologue, he said, “Tonight is an international event. If I can be serious for just a moment. Everyone watching right now around the world is all too aware that these are very chaotic, frightening times, okay?”
“It’s at moments like these that I believe that the Oscars are particularly resonant,” O’Brien said. “Check it out: 31 countries across 6 continents are represented this evening, and every film we salute tonight is the product of thousands of people speaking different languages, working hard to make something of beauty. We pay tribute tonight, not just to film, but to the ideals of global artistry, collaboration, patience, resilience, and that rarest of qualities today, optimism.”
“So let us please celebrate. Not because we think all is well, but because we work and hope for better in the day.”
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Then, O’Brien produced a live sketch where he imagined winning an Oscar and gloating about it as though he were conquering the world. An actor playing the Pope even blessed him and an owl named Cicero delivered his Oscar. And yes, Josh Groban was there, singing, “His Oscar win has been fated by God.”
Tonight marked O’Brien’s second time in a row hosting the Oscars. He made his debut as Oscar host at the 97th annual Academy Awards. As he himself pointed out in the monologue, O’Brien also co-starred opposite Best Actress nominee Rose Byrne in If I Had Legs I’d Kick You.
DOCUMENTED REFERENCES
Exploring Documented Records
Public interest in the Epstein case continues not only because of court proceedings and testimonies, but also due to the growing body of documented records that help researchers and readers understand the broader context. Beyond legal files and media reports, some independent projects have organized publicly available data connected to Epstein’s activities.
One example is a structured archive of documented Amazon order records, where purchases are cataloged with dates and product details. While individual items do not prove wrongdoing on their own, examining documented information alongside established facts helps paint a clearer picture of the environment and circumstances surrounding the case.
For readers looking to review primary-source style data rather than interpretations, exploring compiled records can provide additional context to the broader discussion.
